The Lost Chapters of Susan Kay's 'Phantom'
by xo-little-lotte-xo
Summary: Bound by a promise, Christine returns to a dying Erik's lair to see him one last time. But what exactly happens behind the closed door? COMPLETED!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello my darling readers! Thank you for coming! Okay, so definitly not my best effort, I'm sorry. I took a break from writing an essay to do this and my computer is a piece of... well... maybe we won't go there. Anyway, reviews are extremely appriciated! This is only going to be two or three chapters long. I doubt any more unless there is an overwhelming desire for more. This is based off of Susan Kay's book, but you do not necessarily have to have read her work to understand what is happening here.**

**Of course, none of the characters belong to me. I'm just borrowing them for the time being. I did rate this M for the chapter following, so do NOT read if you are underage! I don't want to be responsible for polluting young minds. :-)**

**Enjoy!**

_Darling I listen; and for many a time_

_I have been half in love with easeful Death,_

_Called him soft names in many a mused rhyme,_

_To take into the air my quite breath;_

_Now more than ever seems it rich to die;_

_To cease upon the midnight with no pain,_

_While thou art pouring forth thy soul abroad_

_In such an ecstasy!_

_Still wouldst thou sing, and I have ears in vain -_

_To thy high requiem become a sod._

_Ode to a Nightingale_

_By John Keats_

"If you won't take me," I said unsteadily, "I shall go by myself."

I sat stunned in a chair in my apartment that Raoul had procured for me. He had brought me flowers as he often had the past few weeks. I think it was his way to try and cheer me up from the melancholy mood that I had slipped into.

I could still see his face, it was always with me. That horribly disfigured and utterly hideous face that I had come to love beyond all my comprehension. If I closed my eyes, I could still taste our kiss as it lingered on my lips.

We had promised him to return before the wedding to give him an invitation. I had thought it a strange request, as did Raoul. Erik said that he had been often invited to weddings and parties and though he never attended, he always kept the invitations. Now I stared at the remnants of the invitation, torn into a dozen pieces by Raoul who had been thrown into a fury by my simple statement that it was time for us to return. After all, we were due to be married the very next day.

He tried desperately to dissuade me, but my mind was already made up. Raoul said that if I were to return to him, there would be no wedding. I knew he meant because Erik would never let me go a second time, but I think he also suspected that I would be the one that was unwilling to leave him and return to Raoul's arms.

So I waited until the night fell and the large de Changy manor was fast asleep. An inconvenience that rarely afflicted me anymore. Sleep was torture for me as all it did was serve to remind me of the man that the world had shunned and that my heart burned for. I would awake sweat dampened; my face on fire with the shame that came from such dreams.

Raoul had slammed the door and left in a fury of self-pity. But I could not being myself to love him any less. Oh, there was no mistake, I did love Raoul. That was plain to me, but what was also painfully clear was _how_ I loved him. He was the memory of my father, the remembrance of happy childhood days, the brother I never had. But I did not love him as a devoted soon-to-be wife should.

I stole away silently with the keys Erik had given me long ago. It was quite simple to find the proper path to his lair. I had traveled it many times before. If not in flesh, then in my thoughts.

Nadir was there. Good Nadir was always there. He looked surprised to see me and I had to admit that I had not expected to see him in such a state. He looked ragged and worn, seemingly increasing ten years in age since I had seen him last. Erik's home was in shards around me. Nothing remained in one piece as far as I could see. No words were needed to explain or express. I had known a long time that Erik was dying. And my leaving him could do nothing but further his final journey. He turned and with a nod led me not to Erik's room as I had expected, but to my room. It was a stark contrast from the rest of his dwelling. It remained untouched, just the same way as the day I had left.

My heart contracted until it burst. He still wore the mask, as I heard Nadir explain quietly that Erik had not allowed him to remove it. Everything fell away except the skeletal figure on the bed and myself. For a moment I thought that he was already dead, his breathing was shallow and his body unmoving, his eyes closed.

As if sensing my presence, he woke and looked at me. I noted the surprise in his mismatched eyes and I tried to force a smile to my unyielding lips.

For a moment we were suspended in time. As if we were both trying to force ourselves to wake up or else to believe that this was truly happening.

He attempted to speak, but was sent into a fit of coughing. In an instant I was at his side, holding his trembling hand and willing him to be alright. Nadir was also now by the bed and appeared very awkward. He made to move, but I asked him to remain for just a moment.

Carefully I removed his mask and handed it to Nadir.

"You came back," he said weakly.

It was my undoing and I could not stop the flow of tears as they suddenly began to cascade down my pale face.

"Of course I did. I said I would," I said softly. I reached out to gently brush away the tears on his own face and he closed his eyes again, as if cherishing the feel of my touch. Without hesitation I leaned down to replace my fingers with my lips, kissing first his forehead and then each closed eyelid in turn. I couldn't stop. I was driven to somehow try and show him the love that he never knew before he left me forever. His face held no fear for me and after I had covered every inch of his beloved face, I kissed his lips. I nearly gasped at their coldness. It was like kissing Death.

I sat up and looked down on Erik, our eyes a mirror of sorrow reflecting in the other's depths. I still held his hand and carefully he turned it palm upward, bringing his other to cover mine. I felt a small weight drop lightly into my open hand and as I looked down was surprised to find not the diamond engagement ring that was supposed to be a symbol of love but had turned to a sign of regret and pain. Instead I looked on a small, plain, solid gold band...

... My wedding ring.


	2. Chapter 2

crystallynn: I hope you like "heart shredding" because there's bound to be a lot of it when it comes to Erik.

snapedreamer: Well, I hope this was soon enough for you. Heaven knows I hate to keep people waiting!

**A/N: Remember that I mentioned this would be the chapter that earns the M rating, so be warned. I really want to know what you think about how I handled this. Was it too smutty? Not smutty enough? Too short? Too long? That kind of stuff.**

**Enjoy!**

_Kiss me too fiercely_

_Hold me too tight_

_I need help believing_

_You're with me tonight_

_My wildest dreamings_

_Could not foresee_

_Lying beside you_

_With you wanting me_

_Just for this moment_

_As long as you're mine_

_I've lost all resistance_

_And crossed some borderline_

_And if it turns out_

_It's over too fast_

_I'll make every last moment last_

_As long as you're mine..._

_From 'Wicked'_

_Music and lyrics by: Stephen Schwartz_

I stared a long time at the seal of utmost love and devotion as it lay nestled in the palm of my hand. Eventually I turned to Nadir, whose awkwardness was seeming to increase steadily.

"Would you be our witness, Nadir?"

There was confusion on both men's faces but the Persian nodded slowly, unsure of just what it was that I was asking him to do.

I slipped the ring on the finger of my left hand and looked directly into Erik's eyes, granting him the access to view my soul so that he could be sure that I knew what I was doing. He made a move to stop me. "Christine, please, you deserve so much better than I could ever hope to give you. Do not tie yourself to me. It can never be undone."

I smiled at him; the first true smile that had graced my features in months. I leaned down to kiss him briefly on the lips. They were not as cold now. Indeed, it almost seemed that in some ways he was healing slightly, though I knew that it was temporary. Maybe for just this one night, I could give him my strength and let him see the light.

"Erik, my angel," I began softly, "ever since the first time I heard you sing to me, I have loved you. As I grew and you taught me and I flourished beneath your unrelenting teachings, I loved you. And now, as I sit here with you, even after all that we have been through, I still love you." He closed his eyes and began slightly shaking his head, as though he were afraid to believe me.

"You said before that it would be enough for you to call me your wife, but it is I, Erik, that would be the one honored if you would be my husband."

His body shook under from the force of his sobbing that suddenly overcame him and I lay down next to him and drew him in my arms.

Neither of us noticed when Nadir finally took his leave and we did not hear the click of the door as it closed behind him. We simply held each other as we both cried away all the pain and hurt. And when we had finally relinquished everything holding up back, we started in awe at the wonderful feeling of just being in each other's arms.

His fingers caressed my face, wiping away the tears that still lingered there. He gently brought his lips to mine and we both felt the electric spark that passed through us. With a groan of frustrated longing he crushed my lips to his with a force that made me forget that he was sick. I welcomed the passion that lit from the depths of my body. I took us both by surprise when I drew his bottom lip between my own and gently sucked on it before plunging my tongue into his mouth.

With one hand he trailed his way down my side and wrapped around my back, pulling me hard up against him and letting me feel exactly what I was doing to him. I moaned with unknown longing.

Before I could allow my sense to take any hold, my fingers were already working on tugging his shirt free. When I finally had that task completed I pulled away, gasping at the scars that marred his otherwise perfect chest. With gentle reverence I traced the jagged, raised lines with my lips, making sure that I did not miss a single scar.

"Christine... mon ange..." he moaned with desire. I pulled away and we both mourned the loss of each other's touch. I began undoing the buttons on my dress and had to fully rise from the bed as I felt the last one lose. I let the dress slip slowly from my shoulders until it pooled on the floor at my feet. I tugged at the laces of my corset while Erik watched me with rapt attention. When I finally was able to at last peel it away, I heard his sharp intake of breath. There was no hiding beneath the thin fabric of my chemise but I still left it on as I returned to the bed. I did not lay down next to him, but instead took a much bolder move and straddled his waist.

My fingertips raked gently across his chest as leaned down to kiss him passionately on the lips. He took his hands and stopped me. I pulled away quizzically. "What's wrong?" I asked nervously. "Nothing, Christine. Don't you see? It's so beautiful... so perfect..."

"I don't understand," I said, still feeling as though I had done something wrong somehow.

He gently traced his finger down my jaw line. "Christine, you are an angel and I am a monster. We cannot do this. I cannot allow you to. I deserve the fate that I have been dealt, but you, Christine, you were born to fly."

I took his hands and set them at the hem of my chemise, letting him feel my heated flesh beneath his touch. "Then help me find my wings..." and with that, I guided his hands as they lifted my chemise over my head, revealing me fully before his eyes.

I felt strangely calm as his eyes wondered adoringly over my naked body.

He summoned his strength and sat up, letting his hands rest on my hips as he pressed a kiss to my stomach and then began blazing a trail slowly but steadily up my body.

"You are so beautiful..." he whispered just as his mouth encircled the hardened tip of first one of my breasts, then the other. I gasped at the sensation and instantly felt a jolt of lustful desire crash like a tidal wave through my body.

"Erik," I moaned, my voice husky and almost unrecognizable. I felt him smile against my flesh as he reluctantly abandoned my breasts to trace my collar bone with his curious tongue.

"Erik... please..." I knew not for what I begged. All I knew was the intense need to sate my desire. He nodded and pulled me back down with him on the bed, but rolled me over to my back. I opened myself willingly to him and kissed me with such a kiss that it threatened to draw my soul from me. There was still the barrier of his trousers between us, but soon they too joined the pile of clothes on the floor.

I blushed furiously as I glanced at his body. I had never a man fully before and was oddly fascinated by it.

"Christine... Are you sure?"

I gazed up at him and saw the question burning in his eyes. I knew that even now I could tell him no and he would cease immediately. But I did not wish to stop. I wanted to know the wonders of the man that visited my dreams every night. I wanted to taste the joy that I knew it would be bring.

"Erik, I love you more than words themselves could express. Take me, I am yours. Your Christine... your angel... your wife."

He covered my mouth with his own and I felt his shift his weight. There was a brief, stabbing pain as he forced himself inside me. I whimpered and began to tremble beneath him.

"Christine, I'm so sorry," he whispered as he kissed away my tears. "Please forgive me... I'm so sorry..."

I don't know how many times he whispered those words, over and over again in my ear. The pain was subsiding and was being replaced with a feeling that I can only describe as intoxicatingly wondrous. He was pressing kisses to my shoulder in between his pleas of forgiveness. I moved beneath him, trying to adjust to this new position. He pulled his face up and I smiled at him. He seemed suddenly awash with relief and I kissed him, entwining my fingers through his hair.

We both gasped when he began to move within me. Both strangers to this experience, we shared equally in the marvel that we made. He was gentle and slow, almost as though he were afraid I was made of porcelain and would break if he was too demanding on my delicate body. I wrapped a leg around his, encouraging him on.

We rocked together in a heavenly realm of our own creation. The words of his fated opera rang through my head as I finally understood their meaning.

We gripped each other's hips as his movements became faster and his thrusts harder. I could feel the pressure welling up inside me, waiting to be let go. My other leg coiled around his waist, bringing him deeper within me.

"Christine..." His voice was thin and strained. I knew the question before he asked it and saved him from having to complete his thought.

"Come with me, Erik... together."

We both had to stifle our mutual cries as we slipped into a world of undescribable bliss. Our souls fused together in that one moment and I knew that never again would I be the same.

"Christine, I love you."


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Hello all! Thank you so much for your reviews! They mean so much to me! This is where I drew the normal end to the story, but some of you have expressed a wish that it continue. Now, after you read I am sure that you'll find it impossible, but there is a way... that it, if you want me to. Just let me know what you think. I don't mind either way, but I do enjoy writing for you all. Anywho... enjoy!**_

Snowstar: I hope it's the good kind of crying! I'd feel awful if you were crying because it sounded horrible!

Stash Wallace: Well, I've voiced your thoughts... let's see what they say. And thank you. It means a lot to me that you like it, even in comparison to the great Susan Kay.

fairlie.hartright.88: Thank you my dear. Your opinion means a lot... though I get it from you weather I want to or not! But then, I guess that's what happens when you're best friends:)

snapedreamer: Don't hug your lap top too hard... you'll break it! lol. I'm glad you liked it. I tried hard to make it be something that people wouldn't go "Eww...".

_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.  
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height  
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight  
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.  
I love thee to the level of every day's  
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.  
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;  
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise;  
I love thee with the passion put to use  
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.  
I loved thee with a love I seemed to lose  
With my lost saints - I love thee with the breath,  
Smiles, tears of all my life! - and, if God choose,  
I shall but love thee better after death._

_From: How do I love thee?  
By: Elizabeth Barrett Browning  
_

We lay there in awe of what passed between us, our erratic breathing slowly returning to normal. He held me tightly to him, kissing my head through the mass of dark curls.

"Thank you, Christine. You have given me a gift more beautiful than I can describe; more beautiful than I deserve..."

I lay with my head pressed against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm as his heart beat a tattoo in my ear. "Erik, I give you more than myself. I give you my soul."

I still am not sure if it was the tears that caused his heart to suddenly take on an temperamental pace, or if that was what had cause the tears. But either way, I could feel the tremor pass through him, heard his sharp intake on breath as his arms tightened involuntarily around me. I pulled away to look at him, his eyes were shut and his jaw was clenched firmly. Tears slid silently from under his closed lids and I gently kissed them away.

He finally let out a shattered breath and the look in his eyes made my heart break afresh.

"How much longer?" I asked softly.

He smiled faintly. "Not long."

I buried my face in the crook of his neck and my shoulders began to tremble as I cried softly.

"Do not weep for me, my angel. My time is done and I'm glad for it."

"Don't talk like that, Erik. I need you. Please don't leave me."

He sighed in my hair, his hands running soothingly up and down my naked back. "I'll never leave you, Christine. Not even death can separate us now."

We had made love once more, slow and almost leisurely, our passion being spent. We took the time to watch the beauty unfold between us.

I had fallen asleep in his arms, the dreams I had were a pale comparison to the reality that I had just experienced. It was strange what my senses detected first. I already knew I was in bed, the sheets soft against my bare flesh. Erik's fingers and mine were intertwined and I was tucked perfectly against him. He was warm and inviting. I smiled as I felt his lips pressing gentle kisses to every inch of my face. His free hand was tracing lazy patterns on my exposed skin.

"Christine..." he softly whispered my name like a prayer, calling me back from the world of the sleeping. I opened my tired eyes and he gave me a tormented smile.

"It's time..."

I was wide awake in an instant, sitting abruptly upright in bed. "No. Not yet. It's still too soon."

He sighed tiredly, like someone who had been awake for days on end without rest. Only we both knew that when he finally slept, he would not wake again. He gently stroked the outline of my features before it became too difficult to raise his hand and he let it fall back to lay against his chest.

"Christine... before I go... There is something... something I have to tell you..." His every word became more and more difficult to formulate and I listened closely, knowing it would it would be useless to tell him to save his energy by not talking.

"My life... was nothing but darkness... I hated God and He hated me. But then He gave me you... He sent an angel to the wolf... You showed me love when no one else did... You shrouded my life with light... and you have made me believe in God once more. Know that I die happy... a fate I should have been denied. This I swear to you, Christine... I will succeed in death where I failed in life... I will be the angel that you always thought I was... I will watch over you... protect you... and love you... forever..."

Each word caused him more pain and he reached the end with exhausted relief. I could hardly see him through my flood of tears and placed a kiss to his lips, they were cold now... much colder than they had been only an hour ago.

"I love you," I whispered brokenly. I could physically feel him slipping away from me and I could not follow. With his last breath, he said my name, so softly that I almost missed it. His hand, still held in mine, grew slack and gripped my hand no more. Upon his lips was the faintest of smiles as he greeted the world beyond my understanding.

I wept an ocean for him, the words of his requiem tearing themselves from the remnants of my heart and soul.

By the time the words of my religious lament had passed, I had stopped crying and a calmness spread through me. I could still feel Erik there, but the feeling was not from the shell that was his body. No, that was empty. I felt him inside me. His love leaving an imprint upon me that I would carry with me forever.

I pulled myself away from him and began to dress in silence. I did not feel the loneliness that I had expected would accompany his death. It was as though Erik was standing right behind me. Though I could not see him, the feeling was so real that I could swear I could feel the warmth of his breath as it caressed over me. Erik was with me. He always was and he always would be.

And so it was that I walked from the room with an almost serene air. My soul had been tortured and was now at peace. Erik had died but his love remained steadfast. I had given him my soul and he was its guardian. I knew that he had not abandoned me, he would be with me, beside me, a part of me, all the days of my life.


	4. Chapter 4

**_AN: Hello my dears! I wasn't sure I was going to write another chapter or not, but I couldn't help myself. It's not as good as the other chapters in my opinion, but I still think that it helps in understanding a little about what happens through Christine's eyes at the end of Susan Kay's book. Enjoy!_  
**

**fairlie.hartright.88: Thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your friendship. There are few things in life harder than losing someone that was as close to you as a sister. I pray every day that you will be able to work things out. I'm sure that she would welcome you back with open arms.**

**snapedreamer: I always love reading your replys. You make me feel so special. I really strive to capture Erik's true nature, both the good and the bad. It's not easy sometimes, but thanks for your support.**

** Xxx13 o'clock Erik xxX: Welcome to the story. Hope that you enjoy it, though I'm not sure if this will be the last chapter or not. I might write a couple more, but welcome just the same.**

**Thank you also to those who have read and not reviewed. I wish I could thank you all individually, but you are no less appriciated.**

_If grief for grief can touch thee,_

_If answering woe for woe,_

_If any ruth can melt thee,_

_Come to me now!_

_I cannot be more lonely,_

_More drear I cannot be!_

_My worn heart throbs so wildly_

_'Twill break for thee._

_And when the world despises,_

_When heaven repels my prayer,_

_Will not mine angel comfort?_

_Mine idol hear?_

_Yes, by the tears I've poured thee,_

_By all my hours of pain,_

_O I shall surely win thee,_

_Beloved, again!_

_From: If Grief for Grief_

_By: Emily Bronte_

* * *

I think I knew before the doctor was ever summoned, perhaps even the moment it happened. At first I was sure that it was just my loss of Erik that had my imagination wandering, but as the month drew out and Raoul's and my wedding date drew closer, I knew that I was not mistaken. 

I told Raoul that I could not marry him the very morning that Erik had died. I asked him to wait a month for me, just to be absolutely sure that he could forgive me. He seemed confused, but agreed nonetheless.

I became increasingly ill and hoped that it was just my nervousness at being married that was the cause, but somehow, even then I knew otherwise.

My thoughts were confirmed not a month after our wedding when the doctor was finally called on about my illness. I still remember the overjoyed expression on Raoul's face when the doctor shook his hand and congratulated him. I had the strangest feelings of horror and dread mixed with elation and joy. A soft breeze blew through the window at that very moment and softly caressed my face.

Raoul hugged me tightly and rushed off to tell his family and friends about his good fortune. Tears filled and streamed down my pale face.

"Christine..."

My name was carried on the soft breeze and made me freeze in my place. Surely the wind could not have said my name. The idea was so outrageous that it was laughable. Yet I heard it just the same.

That night I must have fallen into a deep sleep, for I had the most wondrous dream. I dreamt that I was in bed, my eyes closed and limbs heavy from sleep. Gentle fingers were tracing the outline of my jaw and lips. I smiled, thinking of how thoughtful Raoul was. Yet when I opened my eyes, it was not Raoul that I was looking at. Rather, it was the stormy blue eyes of my beloved Erik. He smiled at me and I at him.

"Christine," he whispered, the words sounding just as the breeze had.

"Is this a dream?" I asked softly.

"Yes, little one. Forgive me, I could not help myself."

I reached out to cup his face, now perfectly flawless, and leaned to press my lips carefully to his. His thumb lightly stroked my neck and we stared at each other for a long moment.

"Erik, I'm pregnant."

"I know darling. I heard."

He must have found my puzzled expression amusing for he laughed softly. "I told you that I would always be with you, Christine. Never doubt my words."

I buried my face in the comforting wall of his chest and simply absorbed being in his arms. He sighed. "Christine, sweetheart, you have to wake now."

My arms tightened around him. "No. Erik, I don't want to leave you. I miss you so much. My heart aches without you near."

He tilted my chin upwards and placed a tender kiss on my lips and then on each eyelid. "I will be with you forever Christine, even if you cannot see me."

And then he was gone and I woke to find Raoul standing over me, his face etched with fright and worry. "Christine, are you alright?"

I felt odd but otherwise normal. "Yes, I'm fine. What happened?"

"You - you were shaking so badly. I was so worried."

I was confused, not understanding what he was saying. After all, I was only sleeping. He sank down next to me on the bed, looking exhausted.

"Christine, I think something's wrong."

Over the next few months of my pregnancy, things became steadily worse. I had no idea what my condition was, I didn't want to know. All I knew was those times when Raoul said I was at the worst, my time with Erik was at its best. Sometimes, we would even leave the room and go for a walk. It was strange, but I somehow knew that I was leaving my actual body behind on the bed, with Raoul watching carefully over me.

My belly was growing nearly as fast as my health was deteriorating. Erik would often press kisses to it and sing soft lullabies.

My waking world was a hell full of pain, but my dream world was heaven and full of laughter. I spent more time dreaming with Erik that I did awake with Raoul. And each time, I would find it harder and harder to leave Erik. It was so much easier to stay with him and forget about the pain.

One day, while Erik and I were walking by a lake on a summer's day, he turned me towards him and kissed me passionately.

"What's wrong?" I asked, already fearing that I knew what he was going to say.

"Christine, we can't meet anymore."

Tears instantly sprang to my eyes and I pulled away from him slightly. "Why?"

He gathered me quickly back into the protection of his arms, not seeming to even notice my enormous belly. "I've been selfish with you. You are Raoul's wife now and he needs you."

There was strangely no jealousy when he spoke those words. I suppose it was because he had been my husband first and knew that since we could no longer be together in the waking world, that at Raoul's side was the next best thing for me.

"I want to be with you, I need you, Erik."

He smiled and kissed my forehead. "As I need you, mon ange, but you are too weak for this to continue."

"Then let me follow you. I don't want to live if you cannot be there with me."

"I will always be there with you, you just won't be able to see me is all. You must go back, Christine, for the sake of your child."

I took his hand and placed it on my abdomen. "Our child, Erik."

He smiled sadly and placed a kiss to the swollen flesh. "Our child," he repeated.

We stood there embracing one another until he reluctantly pulled away. There were tears in his eyes as well. "You have to go now, my darling."

I nodded slowly, knowing he was right.

"I love you, Christine."

"I love you, too," I whispered as my world slowly went black and I returned to the world that I belonged to, to fulfill my duties as a wife and new mother.


	5. Chapter 5

Fairlie.hartright.88: Thank you, my dearest (very nearly) sister. You've been such a help to me through all my fan fictions. I promise I'll get to read yours hopefully soon. Haha 

Blackbirdturner: Thank you for the compliment. If I received no other compliment, having someone tell me my story was nice and sweet would be enough.

Phantom's Allure: Here you are, m'dear. Your update. Sorry it took me so long! I hope you enjoy.

Morte Rouge: Haha. Thank you. I love hearing that you think my story is 'pretty'. Many great authors aim for that very thing.

Blueflamewolf: Thank you so much. That was very nice of you to say. I do hope that you think these last chapters are beautiful as well.

13 o'clock Erik: I'm not entirely sure why this hasn't gotten more reviews. I do so love hearing from each and every one of you though. I am very thankful to all that _have_ reviewed.

Lovethescottishangel: Okay okay, I'll keep going. Gosh. Twist my arm just a little more, though, would you? Haha. I love your sn. It's so awesome.

Steerpikesister: Thank you so much! I love it when my story is added to a favorite list. I only have a few stories that I consider my favorite, and I go back and re-read them all the time, so that means a lot to me.

**A/N**: Back by popular demand! Okay, so I fully intended to leave the last chapter as the final one in the story, but after a recent (and rather shocking) display of affection for this story from several people, I decided I couldn't resist another chapter. But this will be the last one. I promise you all that. Okay, well, let me clear something up. This is broken down into two chapters, but I will post them fairly close together. I just have to find a poem for the second part. However, I would still love very much if you would review both chapters. It makes me happy. I /might/, and I stress might, continue the story from Charles' perspective. I think it would be very interesting to see the world from the eyes of Erik's son, but considering that I did just recently begin my second year of college, I might be a tad busy. I would sincerely love everyone's opinion on this matter. Also, before I let you all go, I would like to let you all know that I do have another story already in the works (it's about half-done) that I am thinking about getting put onto this wonderful site and I would dearly love it if you would all read it. It's called 'God Give Me Courage to Show You'. Keep your eyes peeled for it. Or if you add me to your author alert, it will e-mail you when I finally post it.

I've included the last little bit from the previous chapter just to refresh everyone's memory, though you might want to go back and read it in its entirety.

Okay, now that I've tortured you all long enough, here it is! The FINAL chapter of the Lost Chapters of Susan Kay's 'Phantom'...

From chapter 4:

"I want to be with you, I need you, Erik."

He smiled and kissed my forehead. "As I need you, mon ange, but you are too weak for this to continue."

"Then let me follow you. I don't want to live if you cannot be there with me."

"I will always be there with you, you just won't be able to see me is all. You must go back, Christine, for the sake of your child."

I took his hand and placed it on my abdomen. "Our child, Erik."

He smiled sadly and placed a kiss to the swollen flesh. "Our child," he repeated.

We stood there embracing one another until he reluctantly pulled away. There were tears in his eyes as well. "You have to go now, my darling."

I nodded slowly, knowing he was right.

"I love you, Christine."

"I love you, too," I whispered as my world slowly went black and I returned to the world that I belonged to, to fulfill my duties as a wife and new mother.

* * *

_When I am dead, my dearest,_

_ Sing no sad songs for me;_

_Plant thou no roses at my head,_

_ Nor shady cypress tree:_

_Be the green grass above me_

_ With showers and dewdrops wet:_

_And if thou wilt, remember,_

_ And if thou wilt, forget._

_ I shall not see the shadows,_

_ I shall not feel the rain;_

_I shall not hear the nightengale_

_ Sign on as if in pain:_

_And dreaming though the twilight_

_ That doth not rise nor set,_

_Haply I may remember,_

_ And haply may forget._

_-Song_

_By Christina Rossetti _

He named my son Charles! Of all the names, isn't it ironic how he should pick _that_ name? I'm glad that Raoul was the one to pick it. I fear I should have always felt guilty had I been the one to name him that.

He was a perfect baby. Absolutely flawless, and very nearly the spitting image of what Erik should have been. I possess no doubts that I would have loved him the same, even if he had born the same mark as his father. I cannot say what Raoul's reaction would have been, but I would like to think it would have been the same. Despite everything, Raoul was a good man. He was a gentleman and if I was quite honest with myself, he deserved a better wife. A wife whose heart did not permanently belong to a dead man.

I did my best to be the kind of wife Raoul should have had. I _did_ love him. But he took second place in my heart. I went to every formal occasion without complaint and socialized and chatted and occasionally even gossiped with the ladies of the upper class. I did not do it for my own benefit, but for Raoul's, yet eventually I found myself growing to enjoy such things.

I wonder if Raoul was aware of the odd occurances that centered around Charles. At times, I was quite sure that Raoul knew my secret. It was the look in his eyes. It borderlined on pain, and yet was filled with understanding and forgiveness that I did not deserve from him.

I often wished that I could have given Raoul a child of our own, but the doctor expressly forbade it. There was no doubt in his mind that I would not live through a second childbirth. In a very morbid way, it was a good thing we couldn't. I was afraid of what Charles would feel. Or the new baby, as well, for that matter. Charles showed no signs of the temper of Erik, for which I was exceedingly grateful, but I took precautions to avoid such a temptation of disaster.

Raoul and I never spoke of it, of course. I don't think either of us could have managed it, and yet, we both knew, just the same. Though, the depth of it, I doubt Raoul could even begin to guess. After all, how could he have known Charles was the name of Erik's father? Or that the rose he gave me on Charles' first birthday, and every subsequent birthday there after, was so significant and symbolic?

The nightingale and the white rose. Two things that should never have come together fell in love and created a red rose out of their union. Could anything have more perfectly fitted a description of Erik and I? I had gone out that very day while Charles rested in Raoul's arms and purchased a single, pure white rose. I still cannot say why I did that, but it seemed right. I pressed the leaves of both roses and left them to dry in the safety of my desk drawer. I repeated this strange ritual every year on my son's birthday and it made me feel closer to Erik.

Charles showed Erik's talent for music from very early on. I think that is what first gave my secret away to Raoul. His use of the piano was unnatural in its beauty. He began winning competitions from a very early age. Easily surpassing not only his peers, but those many years ahead of him.

Erik kept true to his words and I did not see him again after the birth of our son. But he did not leave me. Sometimes, it was as though I knew he was in the room with me, waiting just out of sight for me to finish my life on earth and join him in heaven. I would sometimes call to him, when I was alone. Sometimes, it would seem that the breeze would blow just a little through an open summer window and gently caress my face like a lost memory.

Though I could not see Erik, I saw shadows of him in our son. He was my pride and joy and it was impossible _not_ to see Erik in the boy. Especially when he was playing in front of a concert hall full of adoring people, and as he grew older, full of young girls all pining for his attention.

He certainly was a handsome boy! His shock of chocolate hair was the only thing he got from me. Everything else, from his pale skin, to his stormy grey eyes was so reminiscent of Erik, that it was often so plain that he could not be Raoul's son I was worried that someone might discover the truth. But if anyone confronted Raoul with it, he never told me.

Despite how much I loved watching Charles grow into a wonderful and charming young man, I still missed Erik dearly. There was not a single day that went by that I did not close my eyes and allow myself to remember him. Sometimes it would happen quite unexpectedly. The smell of fresh roses from a garden, the Ayesha jumping suddenly into my lap, a look from Charles that mirrored that of Erik. I would have to hurry and find a distraction before the tears would start, or else leave the room so no one would see.

At night, I would pray silently to see him one more time, and I did, in a way, in the form of Charles, but not my love's face. Erik did not haunt my dreams for over a decade. But one night, and it was a night I will never forget, I did dream of him. He was calling my name and I sought for him desperately, but I did not find him before I woke. I had been so distraught that I refused to eat all that day for the frustration that gnawed at me.

A month later, I had the same dream. Again and again I would dream it, but never find him. Racing against some unseen clock. They very slowly began to become more frequent, but it took so much time.

I knew I had begun to grow weaker, but that bothered me little. I hid it so well that I do believe Raoul never knew, but I lived for those dreams. Even if it was just to hear his voice.

It was a strange dream because somehow I knew that it tied to reality. If I were to find Erik in my dreams, I would not leave him. I would abandon the waking world to live with him eternally in my sleep.

If the dreams brought on the sickness or the sickness brought on the dreams I shall never know. But I did know that the more weak I became, the more vivid my dreams were.

Finally, one night when Charles was thirteen and away at school, I came so close to finding Erik that I knew I would not miss him again. So that next day I devoted to showing Raoul all the affection I could manage to muster with what little strength I had. We spent the whole day simply talking while he held me in his arms like a fragile china doll. Somehow, we both knew it would be our last chance.

"Raoul," I said, my once elegant and melodious voice now reduced to sounding weak and distant. "there is something I must say to you. Something about Charles that you need to know."

I had planned out my confession very carefully. But I never got the chance to say it. He covered my lips with his own for a very brief moment.

"Christine, I already know. I have known for a very long time now and I hold nothing against you for it. I love you so much, Christine. I have from the first day I met you when we were only children."

I was surprised to see the tears in his eyes and felt a similar reaction well in my own eyes. We lay in silence for a long while as the sun set below the western horizon.

"I don't want you to leave me," he whispered finally, tears now streaming freely down his face. I brushed them away with my fingertips. I placed soft kisses to each cheek and finally his lips.

"I must, Raoul. But I promise I will not leave you forever. I'll send you an angel of music to watch over you."

"You already have, my love, and he will miss you dearly too."

"Will you tell him how much I love him? Will you make sure he knows?" I had already written Charles several letters that he could read at certain times in his life. Each one I made sure overflowed with my love for him, but I needed to be sure. I needed to know that he would be told how much he meant to me even after I was gone.

"I will, Christine. I promise."

I felt my eyes grow heavy and my breathing became very shallow. As the first starts began to sparkle in the heavens, I looked at Raoul one last time.

"Goodbye, Raoul. I love you."

"I love you too, Christine," he said, his words hardly discernable through his trembling and tears.

I closed my eyes and felt Raoul's lips brush my own as he kissed away my last breath on this earth.


	6. Chapter 6

_I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold_

_Or all the riches that the East doth hold._

_My love is such that rivers cannot quench,_

_Nor ought but love from thee, give recompense._

_Thy love is such I can no way repay,_

_The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray._

_Then while we live, in love let's so persevere_

_That when we live no more, we may live ever._

From - "To My Dear and Loving Husband"

By - Anne Bradstreet

"Christine ..."

His voice seemed to be coming at me from every direction, but I knew from experience where to go. It was like being trapped in a very long hallway, with doors in every direction. I ran straight, ignoring all of them but one. The one I finally knew Erik was behind.

I did not stop as I yanked the door open and charged inside. I did run directly into his arms as I had expected to. Instead, I found myself standing at the base of the grand staircase of the destroyed opera house. Only, it wasn't destroyed. It was as beautiful and grand as any opening gala night.

There was a man waiting for me at the top of the stairs. And though it wasn't my Erik, my eyes widened with shock and wonder. I ran to him and with tears streaming I threw my arms around his neck.

"Papa!"

He held me tightly, just as I remembered from when I was a girl. We both cried such tears of joy that at first I did not see the beautiful young woman standing beside him.

I stared in awe as she smiled lovingly at me. It was like looking into a mirror. A nearly perfect reflection of myself in clothes from a time long since passed. I turned to glance apprehensively at my father who also stared at my replica.

"Christine, my daughter, I would like you to meet your mother."

Of course! How could I not have seen it before? The mother that I never knew. The mother that had died in childbirth now stood before me perfectly flawless. She looked younger than me. Young enough to be my sister, perhaps. I was struck by the sadness of that thought. She was far too young to have died. And then I remembered that I was not much older and my grieving stopped. Yes, we were both too young to have died so prematurely, but we had also lived wonderful lives. We made the most of the short time we had and from the look in her own chocolate brown eyes, I knew she held no regrets either.

Papa should have looked like an old man beside her, but he was so young! Younger, by far, than I had ever remembered him. Hardly even in his twenties from what I could tell.

He took my mother in his hands and kissed her, right there in front of me and I couldn't help but watch in awe at their sublime happiness.

"Christine ..."

The voice called to me again. His voice.

I turned to my Papa who smiled. "Go, child. Go and find your angel."

I hugged them both once more and turned and ran. I knew somehow that it would not be the last time I would see them.

Instincts told me where to go and it didn't not take me long until I was standing in what had been my dressing room. Red and white roses filled the room to the brim, but there in front of me was my great mirror.

I did not recognize the reflection at first. The young, youthful face with red cheeks and dimples and a head full of curly hair could not have been me. But it was. It was exactly what I had looked like at the happiest time in my life. The time that I had locked away forever in my heart.

"Christine ..."

Again the voice called and there could be no doubt that it came from behind the mirror. I ran to it and pried it open with my fingers. But he was not there behind it and I felt my heart drop. Confused, I turned around, ready to go ask Papa if I had been wrong.

But there, blocking the door was a tall, impressive figure. My heart soared to heights that I had not known possible. No mask adorned this face, but rather, a perfect smile with perfect lips and perfect eyes reflecting a perfect love.

"No more hiding," he said simply as he held open his arms to me. "There will never be a reason for me to hide from you again."

To say I ran to him would be an understatement. All I knew was I was standing by the mirror one second, and the very next I had leapt into his arms.

His laugh pierced my heart with such ecstacy that I thought it would burst. We held each other in a vise grip that neither of us ever wanted to let go. It loosened only momentarily as he took my chin and lifted my face towards his and kissed me passionately.

"How can I ever tell you how much I love you?" he asked when we finally parted.

I smiled brilliantly. "Well, you have eternity to figure it out."

Many years later...

An old, worn figure sits in a wheel chair at a antique desk. His worn handwriting only now eligible to those who have read it for many years. A last letter to an only son.

A light breeze blows through the open window and caresses the withered face with love. A single note is carried on the wind like the kiss from an angel.

"Raoul ..."

The End

**A/N**: Again, thank you all for your continued support of this work. I am truly blessed to have such devoted and kind people as you all have been to me. I hope that you will all stick around for any future stories and I will miss hearing from you all. I hope that you all have enjoyed the story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Thank you once again. God bless.


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